Caregiving can be a deeply rewarding journey, but it also can be overwhelming and isolating. That’s why support and connection can make all the difference. For Dr. Kelli Tharpe, the Caregiver Peer Support Mentoring Program gave her a lifeline that allowed her to feel seen and heard. Now, she’s using her experience to offer that same comfort and guidance to others.
Finding comfort in connection
Dr. Kelli Tharpe became a caregiver to her father, James Tharpe, in 2020 during the COVID-19 shelter-in-place orders. James, an 82-year-old Air Force Veteran, suffers from Parkinson’s Disease, dementia, anxiety and other degenerative diseases. Since James was no longer able to care for himself, Kelli and her daughters moved James into their home to care for him. Kelli soon discovered that while rewarding, caregiving can also be incredibly difficult. And like many caregivers, she struggled with feelings of guilt and frustration.
It was during these tough moments that Kelli leaned on the Caregiver Peer Support Mentoring Program. Being paired with a mentor caregiver who had faced similar challenges brought her a sense of relief. She knew she wasn’t alone, and someone understood what she was going through. Not only did her mentor provide emotional support, but they also gave Kelli practical tips to help her navigate her own caregiving journey.
Giving back: becoming a mentor
Now Kelli is paying it forward and participates as a mentor. She hopes to offer the same support she received to other caregivers who are walking the path she once walked. She listens, offers encouragement, and shares strategies to overcome the challenges that come with caregiving for a Veteran with complex health care needs.
“It’s one of my hardest adventures to care for my medically fragile father, but I’m so grateful for the support VA and the Caregiver Peer Support Mentoring Program provides,” Kelli says. “I sought out my tribe and I want to invite others to do the same.”
How you can get involved
Kelli’s story is a testament to the power of the Caregiver Peer Support Mentoring Program. Caregivers are able to connect with peers who understand their struggles. And the mentors serve as a powerful reminder that healing and triumph are attainable and within reach.
Visit the Caregiver Peer Support Mentoring Program page to sign up as a Peer Support Mentor or register as a mentee. Or contact your CSP team today to learn about all the resources available to you.
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The caregiver program and my veteran’s medical team provide invaluable support for us. Working with the caregiver program has given me a sense of empowerment and peace as we face the various obstacles that come our way. Talking with other caregivers and sharing our stories allows an exchange of ideas and personal growth. Talking with medical providers and being HEARD has been amazing. Our VA PRIMARY HOME BASE CARE team listens and works hand in hand with me to provide tools and avenues of care for my veteran. They are truly needed, cherished, and skilled. Our journey would be so dismal without their input and care.
I encourage people who are caring for a veteran to apply for the program. I have posted articles on my Facebook page and share tidbits too.
The caregiver support team has been a true blessing. Whenever I need help, they are there. They provide training in various subjects, burnout assistance, Healthcare coverage through CHAMPVA (no dental or vision), which has been extremely helpful for those of us whose veteran meets that higher level of care! The stipend that some receive helps to replace lost wages and it gives the caregiver the power to support themselves in a small way.
The VA has provided a lifeline that is unmatched in these times. The people, the program, the empowerment it incorporates is outstanding!
Thank you VA!
The VA authorized a caregiver for me nearly two years ago. Although I’m unable to drive, my caregiver is not allowed to drive me anywhere; not even to doctor’s appointments, which often take up a full day’s time via the limited public transit in my area. I get twelve hours of care each week, usually broken into three 4-hour visits. Aside from helping me with my activities of daily living (ADLs), my caregiver is not allowed to prepare meals for me either, although because I have severe tremors, he/she is approved to prep vegetables because I often cut myself due to Tardive Dyskinesia. He/she always accompanies me on walks, weather permitting, which greatly helps to reduce my anxiety while lessening the effects of the uncontrolled movements caused by TD. The social support and reminders to stay hydrated, take my medications, and sometimes just simple conversation fulfills the minimum to keep my mind focused and active, which in turn gives me something to live for. My caregiver, along with the several online meeting groups I attend (art therapy, a book club, physical therapy for those of us with Multiple Sclerosis or Parkinson’s Disease (such as myself, and occasionally going to a water aerobics class) brought joy back into my life. I’m now a good husband and am even able to do a bit of volunteering at a nearby nursing home where many of the residents are lonely, seldom if ever being visited by family or friends, and have only TV or chemical sedation to get them through their days. I read to them, talk and listen to their stories, and was even able to work with some residents to turn a small patch of weeds in an atrium in the center of the facility into a beautiful garden that recently began to bloom with the arrival of sunshine and warmer weather. Now I get to see relaxed and happier faces sitting on the chairs and benches in the atrium instead of listening to so many hopeless souls whose only wish is to die. I’ve heard quite a lot of that. Before I had a caregiver/companion, I was among them.
Drastically gutting the Veterans Administration is disgraceful and will hurt hundreds of thousands of veterans. Do more than signing petitions or writing your elected officials who serve the interests of their wealthy donors. Join a Veterans Service Organization (VSO) like I did. Help save the VA.
I apply for caregiver help. My Spouse will be my caregiver, since I’m a 100% P&T that qualified me to have a caregiver. It’s a shame that a Vietnam Veterans can’t get help.
Need help to care of
What if I’m a Veteran who is caring for my wife
I have a friend. Her husband had 9yrs AD AF. She is looking for the site where she can enter him in the VA system. Can you give me the website for her to use. Thank you
https://www.va.gov/health-care/eligibility/
https://www.va.gov/health-care/apply-for-health-care-form-10-10ez/introduction