Warning signs and ways to support Veterans in crisis

How Veterans can look out for each other, and act when something feels off.

Veterans look out for their own. You’ve probably noticed when a buddy wasn’t acting like themselves. Maybe they were pulling away, talking differently or seeming a little more run-down than usual. You don’t need to be a doctor or an expert to help in those moments. Being present, paying attention and knowing what to do can help keep someone safe, or maybe save their life. 

VA S.A.V.E. Training breaks this all down into simple, practical steps any Veteran, or anyone, can use when encountering a Veteran in a suicide crisis. You can find the full training online, but this is what it looks like in real life: 

S: Spot the signs 

Changes in behavior, mood or routine can be signals that someone is dealing with more than they’re letting on. These might include increased anxiety, agitation or anger. Maybe they’re talking about feeling hopeless, engaging in risky activities without thinking, or drinking more alcohol than usual. Trust your gut if you notice any changes from their norm. Noticing these signs doesn’t mean you’re diagnosing anyone, it just helps you recognize when a friendly conversation with them matters more than usual. 

A: Ask the question

“Are you thinking about killing yourself?” Asking someone this question directly shows that you care, and it will not put the idea into their mind. Don’t delay a conversation about suicide; it should be asked right away, once a Veteran indicates they may be at risk. Ask in a way that fits naturally with you and the Veteran. You don’t need the perfect words. Simple, honest questions work, like: 

• “’I want to understand what you mean by ‘ending it all.’ Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
• “Are you having thoughts about suicide?” 

We want to avoid using vague phrases such as “hurting yourself,” as these can have different meanings to different people.  Our Crisis Conversation Handout has additional practical language and information you can use when the conversation feels difficult. It can be a hard conversation, but you don’t have to go into it alone, or unprepared.  

V: Validate the Veteran’s experience  

You don’t have to “fix” anything. Listening goes a long way. Let them talk, take them seriously, avoid minimizing them (avoid saying things like, “Look on the bright side,” or “At least it’s not as bad as…”), and do make supportive, encouraging comments, like “Thank you for sharing that. Help is available” or “That sounds like a lot to carry, and I want to help.”  

Veterans need a listening ear and compassion, just like we all do. You can be that person for them, and your support goes a long way. 

E: Encourage and support next steps 

You can help a Veteran by connecting them to support. That might mean suggesting they talk to someone at their local VA facility, reaching out to another trusted person, or connecting them with the Veterans Crisis Line. If the Veteran acknowledges having thoughts of suicide, stay with them until they are connected with help. The Veterans Crisis Line offers confidential, 24/7 support for ongoing stress, tough days or moments of crisis.  

When someone contacts the line, they talk with a caring responder who listens and helps explore next steps, including local VA resources if needed. You can share this information and even make the call together, or help send the text if that feels supportive. 

You can reach the Veterans Crisis Line any time, 24/7: Dial 988 then Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net/Chat, or text 838255. You don’t have to be enrolled in VA health care to reach us whenever you need us. 

To learn more about the V.A. S.A.V.E Training, you can also check it out online. It’s free, practical, and built for real-life situations with real Veterans.