Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

Bonnie Carroll, thank you for those very kind words of introduction, for your steadfast leadership of this incredible organization, and for the vital work that you and your colleagues have done to organize this National Seminar for the past 29 years on behalf of the survivors of our fallen Veterans and servicemembers.

On this Memorial Day weekend, our nation will pause and remember that freedom is not free, that it was bought with the price of lives lost and sacrifices made by generations of brave men and women to preserve our freedom—yours and mine.

For 29 years, TAPS has not only paid tribute to the memories of the fallen, but it has also honored the service and sacrifices of their survivors.

And to the survivors: It is an honor for me to join you here today. You are here because you loved someone who served this country—someone who gave everything for this country—and they are forever held close in our hearts. Through your presence, you honor their memory and their service. You are their living legacy, an inspiration to us all.

Let me begin by sharing a story, the story of David Griffith. David was 15 years old when his older brother, Major Samuel M. Griffith, was killed while conducting combat operations in the Helmand Province of Afghanistan.

To David, his sister Kelly, his wife, dad, mom, and just about everybody who knew him, Sam was the kindest, most compassionate guy you’d ever meet. Sam was a man of faith, a devoted husband, an Eagle Scout, a Penn State grad, and a loving father of two young sons—Chad who was seven at the time, and Noah, who turned six the day after he lost his father.

Sam was also a proud Marine and F-18 fighter pilot, having proudly followed the Griffith family value of military service. His great-grandfather served in World War I; his grandfather served in the Air Force during World War II; and his father served in the Army during the Vietnam War.

David remembers the month leading up to Sam’s death as the worst time of his entire life. He suffered from depression due to bullying. In fact, while Sam was training for his third deployment, David suffered a traumatic brain injury when a bully threw him from the bleachers, forcing him to land on his neck. David spent a week in the hospital, followed by several weeks of rehab recovering from his injuries. The depression, and the darkness that comes along with it, intensified.

And then Sam died on the 14^th of December in 2011.

Here’s what David recalls—in his own words:

“So many parts of me wanted to die too. Thoughts of suicide and death consumed me, unless I focused on Sam … on who he was and on who he thought I could be. When I focused on my brother who lived for the battle and for his family, I became stronger. So I kept channeling his energy, his strength, his faith, and that helped me to want to live—for him and myself.”

And six months later, David, and his sister Kelly attended their first Good Grief Camp and connected with kids who were just like them.

Here’s what David recalls about camp:

“I remember everyone in my small group saying the name of their loved one, and that made it so much easier to say Sam’s name, and it made it feel right to miss him, to remember him, and to cry for him. I’ll never forget my mentor telling me that if I wanted to keep his memory alive, I needed to say his name and I needed to share stories about him with others because that’s how you heal and that’s how you grow.”

Now David and Kelly’s story is powerful. And I share it today because of what happened next. David and Kelly left their first Good Grief Camp knowing they would always honor the legacy of their fallen brother and continue the work to serve the nation that he gave his life to defend.

Today, David is an Eagle Scout—like his brother—and went to Penn State—like his brother—and is a 1^st Lieutenant in the Army, serving in the Chaplain Corps.

This Memorial Day weekend, he’s here serving as a “Legacy Mentor” with his two nephews—Chad and Noah—and with his mentor from 11 years ago, Terrence Hayes.

His sister Kelly is here as well; Kelly channels her energy into her work at TAPS. She started out as an editor of your magazine, writing about families of the fallen, but now works with partner organizations to bring awareness to the needs of Gold Star families.

Thank you, David and Kelly, for turning your grief into positive action, for inspiring allof us—and for helping children and teens like Chad and Noah play, talk, laugh, cry, and cope following unfathomable loss. And most of all, thank you for honoring Sam.

Now here’s what else I take from that story.

President Biden—a survivor himself—has said that our country’s most sacred obligation is to prepare and equip the troops we send into harm’s way, and then to care for them and their families when they return home.

It’s the promise that our country makes to everyone who signs up to serve in the military, and it’s as simple as it is fundamental.

If you fight for us, we’ll fight for you. If you serve us, we’ll serve you. If you care for us, then we’ll care for you. The thing is, the whole country makes that promise.

With the help of partners like TAPS, we’re fighting to fulfill that obligation and keep that promise in so many ways. Let me update you on some of those promises, and on our progress.

First, this past August, President Biden signed legislation recognizing new presumptions of service connection for more than 20 health conditions related to toxic exposures for veterans who served in Vietnam and those who served in the 30 years of war in Central Command.

This new law will ensure Vets who live with conditions from those exposures get the care and benefits they earned, and it’s empowered VA to deliver the care that millions of toxic-exposed Veterans need, and the benefits that they and their survivors deserve—including many of you here, today.

So if you have questions about filing a toxic exposure claim or need any help accessing the VA benefits you have earned, please stop by the VA table any time this weekend and talk with our VA claim representatives.

If you’re not able to stop by the table, please send an email to officeofsurvivors@va.gov. That’s officeofsurvivors@va.gov if you have any questions or concerns.

Second, VA has a mission statement that informs our work at every VA facility in the country. We finally brought that statement into the moment—to include the service and sacrifice of our families, caregivers, who are the backbone of the care teams for our Veterans and survivors, who mourn the loss of their beloved Veterans.

Our new statement embraces the fullest meaning of President Lincoln’s sentiments, promise, and passion, when it reads that it is our mission: “To fulfill President Lincoln’s promise to care for those who have served in our nation’s military and for their families, caregivers, and survivors.” You, each of you, are central to VA’s mission.

Third, VA, in collaboration with the Office of Army Cemeteries, has added the stories of more than 300,000 Vets and service members interred in 27 DOD managed military cemeteries—including Arlington National Cemetery—onto the Veterans Legacy Memorial page, or VLM.

The power of VLM is that it allows VA to tell the stories interactively of every Vet buried in our cemeteries regardless of how or when they died.

So by adding their stories, they will now join the more than 4.5 million Vets and service members already memorialized on the VLM site, including those interred in VA national, grant-funded, state, territorial, and tribal Veteran cemeteries. At VA, our goal is to remember and honor all who stepped forward to serve.

Fourth, caring for grieving survivors—including those who have lost a loved one by suicide—is also about prevention, intervention, and important postvention support that is too-often overlooked. So VA has drawn on the immense expertise and lived experiences of TAPS members to design our Postvention Toolkit for Survivors.

Because grief can be quite intense for survivors after the loss of a loved to suicide, this toolkit encourages survivors to seek help through a comprehensive approach that promotes healing through education and resilience training.

And last but in no way least, VA is creating a Decedent Affairs Program to improve the Veteran and survivor end of life experience.

Survivors have to navigate some really tough decisions at the end of a loved one’s life, some which are confusing and complex and complicated by grief.  And look, we need to deliver a consistent experience across VA to make it easy for them, to remove some of the stress and devastation that they are dealing with in that moment.

We owe every Vet and every survivor that kind of care, that kind of compassion without them asking us. And now we will. Through this office, we’ll:

• provide essential services during the grief process, to include help with making funeral home decisions;
• train VA staff on their responsibilities for assisting survivors;
• improve processes for locating and engaging next of kin;
• develop outreach materials on available benefits; and
• provide dignified burials for Veterans without any survivors to claim their remains. When there is no family available, our VA family steps in to honor them.

We will standardize the best possible way to serve and care for the survivors of our Vets.  And for many Vets, it brings comfort to know that VA will take care of their loved ones during this time as well.

This is just some of the vital work we’re doing at VA to continue our mission of caring for Veterans, their families, caregivers, and survivors.

So on this Friday before Memorial Day, and every day, we at VA solemnly remember that our mission is for you. Our obligation is to serve you as well as your loved ones served us.

Thank you again for allowing me to share in this moment of remembrance with all of you. May God bless all of you—and our nation’s Veterans, service members, families, caregivers, and survivors. And may God bless our fallen heroes.