Taking care of a Veteran is a deeply rewarding role, yet it’s not without challenges. One of the struggles that often comes with this responsibility is the sense of isolation and loneliness. As a caregiver, you may find yourself so focused on the needs of the Veteran you love that you end up feeling alone, overwhelmed or disconnected from others. This is a common experience, but the good news is there are many ways to connect and thrive in your role.
Recognize that you’re not alone
One of the first steps in dealing with feelings of loneliness is realizing you’re not the only one feeling this way. Many caregivers share these same experiences. Our Caregiver Support Program (CSP) can help you find resources and support services as well as connect you with a community of other caregivers who understand what you’re going through, and this can make a significant difference.
By connecting with programs like Building Better Caregivers, you may find comfort, validation and a renewed sense of community.
Seek out your local CSP team
By connecting with your local CSP team, you can find a safe space to share your experiences and hear from others who understand your struggles and victories. Your local VA medical center can be a great place to meet other caregivers, learn practical tips and share the ups and downs of your caregiving journey.
“As a caregiver for a Veteran, you play an invaluable role in providing care, love and support,” said CSP Executive Director Dr. Colleen Richardson. “While the journey may feel isolating at times, you don’t have to navigate this path alone. There’s a network of support waiting for you here at CSP.”
Carve out time for self-care and personal interests
Loneliness often deepens when we lose sight of our own needs. Take time to nurture your hobbies and interests, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Take advantage of CSP respite care initiatives to help with your well-being. Respite care is a program that pays for care for a short time when family caregivers need a break.
Respite can reinvigorate your sense of joy and purpose. If you feel guilty about setting aside time for yourself, remember that recharging is essential for you to be at your best as a caregiver.
Consider mental health support
If loneliness and isolation become overwhelming, it may help to talk with a mental health professional. CSP provides counseling and mental health support for caregivers of Veterans through the Virtual Psychotherapy Program for Caregivers (VPPC).
VPPC provides caregivers participating in the Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC) with access to various therapy options through virtual telehealth sessions. VPPC can provide tools and strategies to help you navigate the unique stresses of caregiving, offering support that’s tailored to your situation.
About the Caregiver Support Program (CSP)
CSP promotes the health and well-being of Veterans’ caregivers through education, resources, support and services. Every VA facility has a CSP team that provides valuable information about resources to help caregivers stay informed and supported as they support Veterans. More information can be found on CSP’s website and by contacting local CSP teams.
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I’ve been so overwhelmed and depleted from being a sole caregiver for my husband. At 76 and 72, neither of us are having an easy time of it. Like Margaret’s comment, we just went through hell because a pain med made him extremely weak and confused. He also had delusions in which he thought he could still walk, so he would get up and head across a room and fall. A week ago, EMTS came three times in one day to get him up off the floor— the third time taking him to the hospital where he stayed for two nights. I was so beat up from trying to help him, because I have fibromyalgia and sciatica, that I spent those precious hours of alone time in bed recovering. In eight years, I’ve been hoping to find respite time, but I’m so tired that I can barely bring myself to make phone calls or fill out forms. Sometimes I just close my bedroom door and cry. It’s not social isolation that brings me down, it’s complete and utter exhaustion, both physical and mental. Thanks for letting me vent. I wish I had a secretary to help me figure stuff out.
First off, im a 20 year retiree, developed PTSD and now im 100 percent disabled. I use the VA health care system for psychiatric and psychological assistance. So I have appts to maintain of my own.
My mom is 72 years young, 100 percent disabled but also widow of my father, 100 percent disabled Vietnam veteran. I am basically her caregiver, but there is very little ever acknowledged about a widow needing a caregiver.
My husband just became an amputee on his right leg. We have been through a lot due to complications of his health conditions with this particular medication that starts with a JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ for diabetes. It almost killed him! I have some health issues myself, but I haven’t even thought about nothing else but my husband’s care and trying to take care of house cars dog it has been pretty ruff .
Mrs. Heaster, first off I commend you taking on that responsibility. The caregiver process can be daunting for many of us from what I’ve seen and experienced. I wanted to encourage you to take advantage of some of your husband’s VA resources. As the article states, support is available for you as a caregiver. Although it is necessary under the circumstances, it is very easy to feel overwhelmed in taking on the responsibility of both roles within your household. As simple as it sounds, taking time to care of yourself can become a task in itself. Remember that there will always be things to do and things that need doing, but if you neglect yourself too long you may wear yourself down to the point that you are unable to continue to bear the load. If you have not already, read about some of the resources available within this link https://www.caregiver.va.gov/ and consider speaking with your husband’s VA social worker about counseling, respite care, and the issue you mentioned concerning his medication. The nurse, receptionist, or your husbands primary care provider should be able to provide you with his social worker’s contact information. Each care team is supposed to be assigned a social worker.
My father’s social worker has helped us tremendously, but I found out about her and who she was from the receptionist that checks my father in for his VA primary care appointments. She is the first person that told me about the VA Caregiver Support Program (CSP). The CSP offers group counseling over the phone on by way of video calls where you can speak and listen to other caregivers going through similar things. They also offer one-one counseling and other benefits. I don’t know where you are in the country, but the following link can help you locate CSP personnel to contact in your region https://www.caregiver.va.gov/support/New_CSC_Page.asp This is not a cure-all, but it may be a start to point you in the right direction to help you help yourself. The article above contains good information about these resources. It’s where I pulled the links from. Please do something for yourself and reach out to someone who can assist you in caring for yourself while caring for your husband. May God bless you and strengthen you and your husband.